WAITING FOR THE PENNY TO DROP

sometimes
i want to give up.
just stop.

drop off the edge
of wakefulness
into endless
sleep.

sometimes
i want to shrink
back into myself

i want to stop
loving
wanting
dreaming

sometimes
the needing
is too painful,
and i too silly
for scheming,
too tired
for deceiving,
and much
too old
for believing.

i am waiting
for the penny
to drop,
for the truth
to be revealed.

i am curious to see
how this time,
fool that i am,
i am (once again)
deceived.

what will be the ruse
used to confuse
and abuse

i want to stop
before that penny
drops

i want to stop

MC