Friday, 10 March 2017

Chronicles of A Middle-Aged Vampire PART 5

So...No glowing diamond skin, no siren's silhouette.

"What about the garlic thingy?"

"Well, it seems to be legend too. The symbiont is actually sensitive to onions, not garlic."

Great! I wouldn't have to give up Italian food! My stomach rumbled at the thought.
"Listen, I'm really hungry. Will I be on a blood smoothies for the rest of my life?"

"Oh no!" he exclaimed, "We only need blood about once a week, the rest of the time we eat quite ordinary food - without the onions."

"What about the bodies? Surely a murder a week is a bit excessive? Don't the victims start to pile up?"

He looked shocked: "We don't KILL! We drink about a pint of blood, and believe me that is quite enough!"

"But...With Frank...I drank every drop!"

"You were newborn and in an emotional state, I'm sure." He pursed his lips primly. "We consider it quite rude to kill a donor."

""WE"? You mean the other vampires? This "council"?"

"Yes. We have to get you registered for the Insurance Package and the Pension Plan as soon as possible. Preferably tomorrow morning,"

"Pension? Insurance?"

"Of course. We've had a comprehensive plan for prolonged living for centuries now. You have no idea the practical and living problems  immortality can bring!"

Immortal bureaucracy. Now I'd seen everything!


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