Thursday, 6 August 2015


ME: I bet that if you researched you would find every one of the enlightened suffered either from incontinence or constipation, which would basically mean that this is the yin-yang of scatology, which in turn birthed philosophy.

IVAN: Explain please.

ME: Well peeing in your pants, or not being able to poo when you need to will lead a man to try and understand his place, and his utter helplessness before the universe, since he cannot command the most basic functions of his own body.

IVAN: You have it. The fountain of truth relies on plumbing.

ME: I think so.

IVAN: You nuts!

ME: Think about it: regular bowels and a happy bladder are the enemies of deep thought

IVAN: You right! Sitting on the can leads to contemplation, which is the highest art to which a man can aspire.

ME: You think this is why they call bull-shit bull-shit?

IVAN: Dunno. So laxatives and high-fibre yogurt are the new opiate of the masses?

From Conversations with Ivan.

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