Manuela Cardiga - Guilty Pleasures and Culinary Treasures

BEATRIX POTTER WAS ONE FREAKED-OUT BITCH
SAID PETER RABBIT THAT DIRTY SNITCH

"Why that Easter bunny's
got me on the hop!"
cried Alice is distress:
"Alice, he said, please
Can I lift up your dress?
Be-bop-a-ti-bop-ta-bip!
And now he just won't stop!
Why since he started
I just don't sleep,
I may just pot-roast
That little creep!"

"I wouldn't complain"
Said Tink with a sigh
I can't remember
The last time
Pete made me smile..."

"Peter Pan is a wuss"
said Mamma Goose.
"A wuss???
I'd rather say a puss!"
said the Pied Piper
With disdain.

"I rather fancy
his third leg's lame!"
said Cinderela
with a smirk,
"Or so I heard
Wendy complain..."

"Let's leave 'puss'
out of it!" said indignantly
The One in "boots"
"He just has a cock..."

"What?" cried Cock-Robin
"That he does NOT!"
"And whatever he's got
Can't match the fame
Of my bow and arrow!"
Exclaimed the sparrow,
"You just ask Mrs. Robin..."

"Or even" - said Old MacDonald
"Plough a straight farrow..."
"I ain't one to gossip..."
Whispered Chicken Little
"But there's gotta be
A reason he's always
Teasin the man
With the hook?"

"Ye!" cried Big Bad Wolf,
"And flying around
In tights and a mini
What ever the season,
And wiggling his tush?"

"Don't ya go talkin!"
said Little Red to the Wolf
"I seen you wearin-"
"Hush now, little girl!"
Said the Wolf in a panic
"Lets not go speakin'
Out of turn!"

"Oh ye? I seen
The way you yearn
and pant over grammy's
flannel panties!"

And the Queen of Hearts,
Not wanting to take parts,
Swooped in
And had the guards
Put pad-locks
On all their mouths.


Manuela Cardiga