Monday, 3 April 2017

The Chronicles Of A Middle-Aged Vampire- Part 19

This was too much! How dare he? I was completely enraged!

"Even for a man who lives on hang-nails and toe-cheese that is a low blow, don't you think?" I asked, baring my baby fangs in a snarl.

"At least I don't suckle on crab-infested groins," The either to charming Mr Stell snapped back.

"The groins I suckle consider themselves VERY fortunate!" I screeched, "And rather crabs that pick maggots out of my tonsils!"

Mr Stells eyes were on fire, his breath whooshed out and he growled, "By God, Mrs Schultz, you are offensive!" And suddenly he was pulling me against him, his mouth was covering mine in a furious, devouring kiss...

Mr Stell pushed me back and his hands were tugging at the hem of my dress, even as mine tore at the buttons of his suit jacket, eager to worm my fingers under that silk shirt, and feel the crisp curl of his chest hair prickle my fingers. He smelled like wood and leather and hot metal. I moaned against his teeth, nipped at that generous lower lip and heard his encouraging groan of lust.

I slid my hands down to cup his muscular buttocks...Since when had I been this ardent, this daring?
Mr Stell pressed his desire into me and I leaned back, arching my back, offering my throat to his questing mouth...And it was then that I inadvertently leaned on Frank's corpse, and his icy hand popped over the edge of the steel drawer.

I came to my senses, my desire evaporated. I had been about to play hide-the-salami with a stranger with the body of my deceased husband as a makeshift mattress. Not only was this unethical it was decidedly uncomfortable.

"Stop!" I cried, "STOP IT!"

Mr Stell stopped and stepped back raising those elegant hands and spreading them far apart. He was panting, and looked as dazed and out of control as I did.

He drew in two or three panting breaths. "I'm so sorry, Ms Schultz. Please forgive me. I don't know what came over me."

I tugged the hem of my skirt over my thighs with a shiver of regret. "This...This is...I don't know what to say, Mr Stell."

"I can tell you I've never behaved in such an inappropriate manner before. Never!"

"Neither have I, Mr Stell." We stood there looking at each other in an awkward silence for an eternity, then he cleared his throat, squared his shoulders and said calmly: "We will address this issue at a later date, after Mr Valginsky has been decently put to rest."

"Oh yes," I agreed eagerly, "After an appropriate period of bereavement..."

"Are you free on Saturday, Ms Schultz? Say around 8?"

"I will be, Mr Stell."

"Wonderful. Your coffin or mine?"


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