Friday, 15 November 2013

Da Lonely Lovelorn Lullaby Of Lady DaGrind

"Oh woe is me!"
Moaned she and sighed
"Is dere no hope 
For Lady DaGrind? 
I cannot sleep 
Oh what can keep 
Away from me
Da one and only
My darling love 
My sweetest dove? 
Who'd coo and woo 
And lay me to bed 
And gently rock me
To sweetest sleep?"

DaGrind she wrung 
Her little hands 
"Too long have I tarried 
Alone on this shore 
My tears alone 
Would fill up a score 
Of beer-barrels 
Or maybe even more.."

Why! Canute himself 
Could not turn back da tide 
Of the lonely tears 
Of sleepless DaGrind. 
Though she cried and cried 
Til her eyes were sore 
And stood sentinel 
On da lonely shore 
And sang to da wind 
And swore to adore, 
No Knight did appear 
Dat day, or da next 
For poor DaGrind 
Dere was just no rest....

"Cry not, dear Lady!" 
Quoth a Gypsy rascal 
With a bold stare 
And a motley satchel 
"A Knight I foresee 
Both lofty and skilled 
With sword and with lance 
Who can even dance 
Thee a merry jig; 
But give him a chance! 
His charger did so prance 
It threw off a shoe 
And da poor bugger 
Hasn't a clue 
How to fix da damn thing 
And da blacksmith is drunk 
As da proverbial skunk..."

This sally consoled 
The damsel a bit. 
"Why, then," she cried 
"I must learn to abide 
Patient and mild 
For soon he will ride 
Into my life and end 
My sleepless strife! 
On his prancing destrier, 
With his lance and his sword 
And his bright flashing helmet 
With its plume high and bold..."

"I don't know about dat last bit!" 
Cried the Gypsy, a little bit miffed 
"I fell off da horse 
When he threw of da shoe 
(Flat on my derriere, too!) 
And dented da helmet 
Just da tiniest bump 
But I been waiting a week, 
And dat shit 
Of  a blacksmith 
Still hasn't got 
Da fucking thing fixed!"

Manuela Cardiga

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