Sunday, 1 June 2014

“Deborah Bean’s Exotic Gropper on a Hot Bed”

I meant…

“Deborah Bean’s Exotic Grouper on a Hot Bed”

That’s right! On last week's Event at Ashley's Addictive Book Promotions Deborah spilled the beans on her own GUILTY PLEASURE and got herself immortalised in a Recipe that is going to feature in Serge’s forthcoming Cookbook:
“COCKPORN: Low-Calorie Post-Coital Snacks for the Sexually-Addicted”.

She will also feature (under an assumed name) in a torrid dinner scene at Guilty Pleasures…

First things first!
Let’s make ourselves a “Tie Me To The Bed”, Deborah Bean’s winning GUILTY PLEASURE!

1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
1/2 oz Midori® melon liqueur
1/2 oz sweet and sour mix
1/2 oz lemon vodka

It sounds sooo deliciously delightfully GUILT inducing!
Especially what you may do under the influence…
“I did not WANT to do it…I was TIED TO THE BED and…”

So let’s have one, or two…or three!
And how about some music?
I like cooking to music, gets me in the mood. THIS makes me think of hot spicy food and silky rum.

Now that we are in the right mood for this adventure, let’s do get it on!


Grouper Fillets - or any firm-fleshed fish. (Take it from me, girls, always check the firmness of the flesh, it’s very important on a hot bed.)

Hopefully you will have recruited a suitably firm-fleshed kitchen-helper to do all the slicing and dicing and the icky stuff, while you sensuously pose, dose and stir.

Don’t forget! RED LIPSTICK and something low-cut. Or just some black stockings and a frilly apron. Whatever you are comfortable not wearing.

1 Glass of Rum
Juice of 3 Key Limes
3 Green Chilies (as hot as you can take it Ladies, and I like it HOT)
Good handful of fresh Mint
Good handful of fresh Coriander
2 large Garlic Cloves
Sea Salt

1 large Green Pepper (diced)
1 large Red Onion (sliced into rings)
2 large Mangoes (sliced thick)
1 teaspoon hot curry powder

250g of Diced Bacon
250g Cashew Nuts, coarsely crushed
(if you are allergic to nuts, substitute them with corn-flakes for an equally crispy texture)
Desert spoon olive oil

Butter Lettuce
Fresh Mint

Now we can go…
First let’s get our fish into the MARINADE!
Take all the MARINADE ingredients and put them in a blender. WHIZZZ away!
Now set the fish out in a recipient and pour that goop over it.

We will now ignore it for at least an hour.
Let’s have another drink and do some exotic dancing.
Move those hips, jiggle those tits!
OOPS!!Wait a bit!
I was forgetting!
We better get that HOT BED ready!

Take the Onion, the Green Pepper and the Mango and get your Helper to slice and dice as per instructions…

For this part of the preparation I recommend a Tango:

Get him to do that dicing dramatically, provocatively, like an Argentinean outlaw. Sashay around him as he slices, undo his shirt buttons while licking your lips. Slide a leg sensuously around him, throw back your head and slide a chunk of mango down between your heaving bosoms.Get him to lick off the juice…

Arrange the Mango, the Red-Onion slices and the cubed Green Pepper on the bottom of an Oven-proof dish. Sprinkle the hot curry powder over it.

Take your helper to the bed-room and show him the bed.
(set a timer, don’t forget about the poor fish in its Marinade!)


COME ON! Get out of that bed!
Pre-heat your oven! 200ºC or there abouts and let’s that get that fish laid out onto that succulent spicy bed…

Carefully arrange the fillets on top of the aforementioned bed and pour the marinade over it.

Now we do the KINKY COVER
Heat up the olive oil in a skillet and throw in the Bacon.
When the bacon starts to crisp, add the cashew.
Stir it around for a few minutes, then spoon the Bacon/Cashew mix over that shamelessly naked fish…

Pop it into the oven for around 45 minutes.

While you wait, you can do the GREEN SALAD.
Just tear up the lettuce, and the mint and but be very gentle with the cucumber.
That’s it.

When the fish is done, serve it HOT with the Green Salad and a jug of TIE ME TO THE BED.
Then go back for seconds.
Or thirds…

Original Recipe by Manuela Cardiga for DEBORAH BEAN!

No comments:

Post a Comment